On the last entry, I talked about where thoughts come from and would like to expand our discussion on thoughts a little further. Today I would like to discuss the underlying thoughts behind our negative emotions.
Until I realized that behind a negative emotion, lies the causing thought, there seemed no way for me to change my negative emotions. I just assumed that people feel what they feel when they feel it…not understanding that we can change how we feel by looking at the thought behind the emotion. I am talking about the moments in my life (and maybe yours as well), when for no apparent reason, I would begin to feel bad, or sad, or fearful. Outwardly, everything seemed to look good but on my insides, there would be profound sadness…and fear.
It has been difficult for me, to say the least because for so long, I believed that my negative emotions were a permanent part of me and the fear and sadness I’ve always felt would forever be there. When I first began my spiritual awakening, I believed that the knowledge I was gaining in my growing awareness would prevent me from having those negative emotions and yet, I was still having them. I do believe however, that for some people who are growing spiritually, acute and sudden transformations can take place and their negative thoughts and emotions are then “transmuted” automatically. I am not one of those people and I used to ask myself why. It seemed that my awareness/consciousness was expanding but this particular area of emotional and mental pain was something that I would first have to understand in order to transmute it.
I would have episodes of extreme sadness, sometimes mixed with fear (the mucks) come over me. In the past, it would cause me such pain followed by a panic that these emotions would get worse. I would often try to fight the feelings or do something that I thought would distract me. I would hear myself telling myself that there should be no reason to be having an attack. Of course this made me feel worse.
In the recent past, I have had several episodes of the mucks and while I was going through the horrible emotions, I tried to identify the thought behind the initial onset. It is never too late to see the initial thought behind the fear but in my experience, if I don’t “catch it” at the onset, the emotions will come and expand…then I’m immersed in the moment…so I’ll just have to let it ride. I have learned to sit with it, try not to judge it or attach a meaning to it. It always passes. I notice that if I worry that the feelings are going to get worse, they usually do. This proved an important tidbit of knowledge for me. I began to understand how powerful the mind is. If I can identify the thought behind the emotion while I’m beginning the spiral down, I can then transmute that particular negative thought and turn it around. For example, recently, I began feeling the mucks again and while it was still a “thought form” and not an emotion, I was able to change that thought into a positive one. I ended up telling myself that it was not necessary for me to have that thought at that moment. This sounds silly and so were my erratic emotions so I needed to find the reason or meaning behind it all. My reason for having the mucks may be that in my lifetime, I’d become so “used to” feeling bad that when things are going smoothly, I somehow “convince” myself that I haven’t had an episode for awhile so…it starts…talk about a self fulfilling prophecy.
With practice, I know that we can all change our minds to change our life. It take practice and in the practicing of turning our thoughts around, we become better at it.
Our minds and our thoughts are very powerful. If we can convince ourselves to think negatively and bring about negative circumstances, we can also think positively and bring about good thoughts.
With Love, My Journey in Spirit.