When I first started meditating, I would feel very anxious…almost like I wanted to jump right out of my skin. My thoughts were all over the place and I kept thinking about all the things I needed to accomplish that day. It would take some patience on my part and the last person I had patience with was myself! Then I would tell myself that the next 20 minutes was a “special time” for me. I didn’t have to be anywhere, or do anything. I started noticing the anxiousness “taking a back seat” to the quiet. Hey! there’s no threat here!
We all get so wrapped up in our daily activities…all the things that need to get done in the next few hours. It took a little practice and self talk to convince myself that this 20 minute quiet time was “ok”. So many people are uncomfortable with just sitting quietly with themselves. We have gotten so used to being distracted by the “outside world” that we neglect our “inner world”. If there was nothing outwardly to distract us, we would then FIND something to distract us…like playing with our electronic devices. When we have a moment when we are actually not moving, or doing anything, or talking to someone, what do we do? We get on our devices to play that game, look at Facebook and see what people are up to. Why do we do this and why has it become so difficult to just sit quietly?…because we live in a society that tells us that we need to be constantly doing, moving and producing. We must go, go, go. We are not taught to just sit quietly, with our thoughts and emotions…to take notice of what’s going on inside of us. In fact, for many people (myself included), this is initially very uncomfortable.
A big part of evolving spiritually is to be able to sit quietly with oneself. This is not an impossibility…we just think it is. In fact, in today’s busy society, it is a necessity. It allows your mind to rest and your body to -rest-. After a while, you begin to realize that there really isn’t anything that is more pressing, more important, than sitting quietly with yourself. After all, YOU are the most important person in YOUR life!
There are so many people out there who are suffering from anxiety. I was one of them for years and our anxiety is heightened when we continue to push down those anxious feelings. One of the best ways to calm yourself is to sit with yourself and allow yourself to FEEL those anxious emotions. We are told to pop a Xanax, or go do something to distract yourself and by ignoring these feelings, they are again pushed back down only to resurface at a later time. In the meantime, our lives get busier, more pressure is put upon us and the anxiety builds up even more.
By sitting quietly and allowing those anxious thoughts and feelings to surface, we can then take a look at them and at least acknowledge that they are there. IT IS OK to have those feelings. In fact, what we resist, persists. When anxiety keeps resurfacing, it is the Universe’s way of telling us that we have not yet solved an issue within us.
In the past, I have used alcohol, anti anxiety, anti depressants and many other “distractions” to avoid looking at those yucky feelings lying deep within me and although those distractions helped for the time being, it would ALWAYS resurface. These uncomfortable emotions lying deep within me were my “inner demons” and once I understood that they were not a threat, I could eventually allow myself to sit with them, look at them and see it’s origins.
There are so many people who are hurting emotionally and we do everything and anything to NOT FEEL those emotions. Don’t deny yourself the crucial quiet time that we all need to decompress. You will feel so much better.
Meditation is not something that has to be learned, it is something that we all know how to do but have forgotten. When we find ourselves daydreaming or zoning out, it is a form of meditation. As we are falling asleep, we are letting our minds go and letting thoughts come in and eventually we fall asleep. Sitting quietly is just allowing ourselves to “be” in that moment. Letting those thoughts and feelings come…and not judging them or analyzing them.
So to all my fellow anxious friends, it’s ok feel anxious at times. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without having the need to “get rid of it”. It is there for a reason…it’s a reminder to quiet down and spend some quality time with yourself so start spending time with a very important person…YOU!
I wish everyone healing, love and inner peace.